Thursday, December 9, 2010

The tale of three children

Once upon a time, there lived a family whom we shall call the Riedl's. They lived in a little house in the quiet country where they raised three beautiful children.

Although, the country was quiet, the Riedl kids were not so quiet. They were often times heard loudy playing in the yard, or seen streaking around the house. The neighbors stayed away from these "loud" children as they were not familiar with those of the louder breed.

Want to hear about those precious little children?

Chapter 1
Kylie the great

The eldest of the Riedl's, Kylie, was a musical little one. She did not enjoy toys very much and would much rather be dancing and singing! She was also quite independent and loved to tell others how to perform in her "shows".

On a cold winter day, Kylie was up to her usual "dancing tactics" when she put in some old tunes. Today's performance would be to Carrie Underwood's Jesus Take the Wheel. She got dressed up and put her "stage lights on" while her brother and sister waited patiently to see the show. To their surprise, they were not welcome at today's performance. Instead, she would be having a "dress rehearsal". She started the music and made sure NO ONE was watching.

Well, little did she know she had one tricky mama who was hiding around the corner. Today, the mama heard something different...she heard nothing BUT Carrie Underwood. No Kylie at all! When she looked, she realized Kylie's mouth was moving but no words were to be heard. Kylie had one hand in the air with her eye's closed with a microphone in the other. The mama let out of little chuckle at her 5 year old's cuteness and instantly was caught. Kylie stormed out of the room, telling the mom how much she had embarrassed her and RUINED the performance...her LIFE! Good thing the mama had a good sense of humor and decided to write a story about it instead of getting mad....if only one could have seen the look on her face.

Chapter 2
No Cooper, No!

Although one could tell stories of this handsome, blond haired boy for hours, in this chapter you will hear of the most resent.

It was an early morning (as it was every morning). The cute little dimple faced boy burst into his daddy and mama's room only to announce that, "HE DID IT". What did he do you ask? Well, you see this little boy does not need to sleep. He only needs a quick little recharge and he ready to go! But I digress... You see on this particular morning, Cooper actually slept until the ripe hour of 6 am. It was a miracle I tell you and we rejoiced together.

A little later that morning, Cooper had an announcement to make. " farts smell like really, really, REALLY bad rotten eggs and I think you need to smell them". To the mom's dismay, she quickly redirected the conversation and corrected the term *fart* and instructed the little boy to use the term *toot* instead. Cooper just laughed...and laughed...and said, "fart, fart, FART". At this point the mama decided to do some planned ignoring only to hear, "Addy, smell my farts....Kylie, that was a bad one". The mama threw her hands up and said, "Cooper, we do NOT say *fart* in our house". The response you ask? "Mom, boys cannot say toot. Toot is for girwls (girls) becaws (because) it is just girwly (girly). Boy's say FART!". The mama backed down and decided it was a hopeless cause. You see, boys are boys and they will just be smelly boys forever!

Chapter 3
Addy goes fishing

Addison (otherwise none as Addy), was the baby of the family. And boy did she make it known. She was a spitfire from birth and did what she wanted to do when she wanted to do it. Now don't get me wrong, this little pig tailed beauty was the sweetest little thing too. She loved to give hugs and kisses and couldn't get enough of her mama! But none the less, she was persistent.

One day, Miss Addy decided she was ready to potty train. Although the mama wasn't familiar with children who potty trained before they could even really talk, that little one was persistent. She would rip off her diaper and sit on the potty and most often time would actually go to the bathroom. She quickly realized she got an M&M for the above stated action and would try over and over and OVER again.

As you can imagine, there was a new fascination with the potty. It was a big, huge bowl of water and what little kid could resist it! There were days of "No, no, Addy! Don't touch the potty!." But Miss Addy did not care what the mama said and did what she wanted to (remember..she was a persistent little cutie).

One snowy evening, the Riedl's were heading out to the annual Christmas walk in town. The mama was running around the house trying to get everyone in their snow attire and herself ready as well. Little Addy had another idea. It was brilliant I tell you! She was thirsty, yes I said thirsty after talking about the big bowl of water! She was given a little bowl of gold fish to "hold her over" while the mama did the above stated activities. "Why not dip those little sucker in the potty so they can swim...and then I will catch them and eat them! YUM!" thought Addy. To make matters worse, there was some "leftover" waste in the potty from a previous child. While the mama gagged, the little girl laughed and was proud of herself for succeeding at her mission.

And that is the end of today's tale of three children. Make sure you stay tuned for more great adventures of the Riedl clan!

*No children were injured during the events described in these stories


Allison said...

OH my gosh addy ate pee soaked goldfish!!! bahahah i almost threw up. :)

Corrie said...

Lol!!!! Hilarious. Were the PARENTS harmed in the making of these memories?

Hanna said...

Fabulous post. Especially the Addy story. Pretty sure Cole could be her soul mate...

Pamela said...

So funny.
And how you ruined Kylie's life? I ruined Olivia's the other day. She was making a joke about Big Chief Such and Such sitting on the fire pit. But instead of saying SITTING, she said s#itting. And, I could not help myself. I burst out laughing. Another ruined life, down the sitter.

Kara said...

OH and for clarification it was NOT pee in the potty!!!

It was a flushed potty with some "leftovers" from a previous child...SUPER YUCK!